Bought a slice of cheese pizza en route to the subway and had it in a paper bag that was poorly closed. While running down the stairs the slice fell out of the bag and onto the subway stairs, cheese-side down. Only one other person, an elderly Polish lady, saw this take place, so... I still ate it.
I gently wiped it off and ran to the other side of the platform thinking I could eat it in peace and only she would know. A few moments later she walked by shaking her head at me and glowering and then went to her friends standing nearby and told them what had transpired. They all watched me eat my shameful, dirty pizza while talking about me in horrified, heavily accented English.